The weather man

Dave Spritz: The first time I was struck with something...
...a chicken breast from Kenny Rogers.
I was standing next to a garbage pail.
I thought it might've been an accident, that they were throwing it out.
The second time, it hit me square on the chin...
...a soft taco.
Then, pop.
A falafel.
Always fast food.
Fast food
Shit people would rather throw out than finish.
It's easy. It tastes all right
...but it doesn't really provide you any nourishment.
I'm fast food.

Things didn't work out the way I predicted. Accepting that's not easy...
...but easy doesn't enter into grown-up life.I'll take this American accomplishment.That's where I live...behind Fire Brigade 47. Okay.
But in front of SpongeBob.
Hello, America.

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